anonymity allows me to fully express my weirdness

Having a non-anonymous Tumblr is tough.  It reminds me why I loved having an anonymous blog….so I could say things like:

• Lately, I’ve been in this maternal mode.  Most likely because I’m -eek!- the same age my mom was when I was born. I don’t really want to have children per se, but I catch myself thinking about being a mom.  WEIRD.
• And for some reason that is causing me to be DILF-obsessed.  Seriously, I can’t stop scoping older dudes, especially those with children.  Creepy.
• I have a work crush.  We don’t technically work together, so it’s totally safe.  Unfortunately, I see him an average of once every two months.  And one of those times was Monday.  And it was a fabulous start to a REALLY SHITTY work week.  And now I just want to see him again…now finding excuses to travel up twenty floors.

another thing that gives me street cred

When I was younger, I watched a lot of MTV.  In those days, there was no TRL or The Hills or Bromance or whatever other crap is on MTV now.

It was House of Style (which they are apparently bringing back but it won’t be the same without Cindy and Todd), the early days of The Real World (which was awesome BTW until around season 5), The Grind, Pauly Shore, Downtown Julie Brown….and music videos.

I spent a lot of time watching videos packaged into programming like MTV’s Beach House, summertime afternoon blocks where VJs pranced around with teenagers in bikinis and showed awesome videos.  This was back in the heyday of gangsta rap, New Jack City-style R&B, and Seattle grunge.  Is it possible that the music world peaked in 1993?

ANYWAY, throughout all of my video viewing, I picked up on some strange little trend that had made its way into many popular rap and R&B videos.  And as a kid from the south suburbs of Chicago, this was especially noticeable.

For some reason, Chicago White Sox paraphernalia was everywhere.

It’s not like any of these artists were from Chicago.  They were from LA, New York, Houston….places with their own sports teams.  So why did they sport the Sox logo so frequently?

Dr. Dre – Nothin’ But a G Thang

More Dr. Dre – F*** Wit Dre Day

Eazy-E  – Real Motherf***in Gs

H Town – Knockin’ Da Boots

Chuck D also sported the look:

I don’t even know who this guy is:

And you can still see folks sporting the Sox logo these days:

this is why i never should have gotten cable

So what I thought would happen as happened.

I’ve been giving much more attention to my tumblr lately (and it is comment-enabled now, thanks to Chris’s whining about no comments).  And this poor blog has been left out.

But I’m not giving up on it, I promise.  I have some posts floating around in my head that I’d like to get down…when I have some time.

And by have some time, I mean not watching a Real Housewives marathon on Bravo.

inglewood always up to no good

Since I posted such an obnoxious 90s rap song last week, I thought I’d return with a favorite of mine this week.

And I’m on way back to southern California for work this week so it’s totes appropes*.

 

 

*I like abbreviating.  Deal with it.

February is the cruelest month

So it’s February.

Woohoo.

Although it’s shorter than every other month, I loathe February.  Twenty-eight (and sometimes twenty-nine) awful days.

February is like the Tuesday of months.

And if you don’t know how I feel about Tuesdays, let me explain.  Everyone thinks Monday is the worst day of the week.  Sure, it’s the beginning of the work week, but at least it’s just the beginning.  And if you’re having a bad day, you can just blame it on Monday.

“Guess I’ve got a case of the Mondays.”

“Sorry.  Just getting back from the weekend.  It’s Monday, you know?”

“I don’t do Mondays.”

It’s like blaming morning stupidity on not having coffee.

But Tuesday?  There is nothing you can do about Tuesday.  It’s still the beginning of the week, but it’s not really that much closer to Friday.  And all of that crap you didn’t do on Monday because you were trying to recover from the weekend?  It’s staring you in the face on Tuesday.  And, may I point out, there are rarely any federal holidays that fall on a Tuesday (with the exception of a Christmas or New Years Day here and there).

February is quite similar.  January is the Monday of the year.  February is Tuesday.  Especially if you live in a cold place like Chicago.  While February may seem like it’s one month closer to warm weather, it’s really just a trick.  Around here, February is often the coldest of months.  And aside from March, there’s not much to look forward to in February.

Think about this month’s holidays:

Groundhog Day – Generally a downer.  Relying on an ugly little animal from Caddyshack to tell us what the weather will be like for the next six weeks?  Sad.  And there’s usually not much to celebrate.

Lincoln’s Birthday – Celebrated in Illinois.  We used to get the day off from school IF AND ONLY IF the 12th fell during the week.  If it was on the weekend, we didn’t get any holidays in February.  Stupid holiday.

Valentine’s Day – Enough said.

February 3rd is The Day the Music Died.  February 5th is “Disaster Day”.  Toothache Day is February 9th.  Depending on when Easter falls, Catholics may be expected to wipe ashes on their foreheads during February.

President’s Day is a bright spot in an otherwise ugly month.

If I could hibernate for the next 27 days, I would.  Instead, I’ll just drink a lot of wine and tequila.

every step i took in 1997, this song was following me

During lunch on Friday talk, of course, turned to Notorious B.I.G.  We started talking about when Tupac and Biggie died, and  then how Tupac is actually still alive and living on an island somewhere.

Duh.

ANYWAY, talking about Biggie’s death reminded me of when his friend Puff Daddy P Diddy Sean Combs co-opted The Police’s “Every Breath You Take” and turned it into a sad song a very annoying song that was constantly being played on the radio all summer long.

And this version is my absolute favorite, especially when Puffy starts doing his “flying” dance.

This is also posted on my tumblr.  Yes, I now have a tumblr.  Which doesn’t mean I’ll be posting any more or less here.  But there will definitely be more video clipz over there.

layoffs

Today, after what had been weeks of rumors at my company, we had layoffs.  They had initially proposed about 10% of the company being let go; I don’t know what the final number was, but that would have been about 80 people.

I’ve been nervous before presentations and meetings where I anticipated getting chewed out for doing something stupid but never, before today, have I been so scared at work that I thought I might puke.

If the first people I heard about getting laid off had been people I knew were below-average performers, I wouldn’t have been super scared.  My performance review was fine and I felt like a valuable asset on my team.  While I didn’t necessarily feel safe from layoffs, I was relatively confident that I could weather the storm.  That is, until I heard about the first person from my director’s group to be let go.  He was someone that I perceived to be a rockstar employee and someone that always went above and beyond.  While I had never worked with him directly, he just didn’t strike me as the type that would get the axe in this situation.

He was the first name I heard.  After that, I was terrified.  I sat at my desk with my coworker trying to discuss billing discrepancies all the while praying that my phone wouldn’t ring and I’d make it through the day unscathed.  The antipcation was the worst part; every time my phone rang I my heart jumped into my throat.  It was like sorority rush only much, much worse.  Back then the stakes were social currency, being part of the right house.  This time?  It was everything.  Without a job, what would I do?  My coworker and I started joking about it, but it really wasn’t funny.  I’d have to move back to my parents’ house.  I’d have to struggle looking for a job in this bleak economy.  I didn’t want to think about it anymore.

A few of us left for lunch.  After witnessing one of our SVPs cleaning out someone’s desk, I couldn’t take it anymore.  We disappeared for 20 minutes, thankful to get away from the intensity of our office but nervous to go back and see a message from our director that she wanted to see us.

By about 3pm, I had relaxed a bit.  If it hadn’t happened by then, it likely wasn’t happening.  I talked to more people in the office and learned about more and more colleagues that had been let go.  Every time I saw someone familiar in the hall, we gave each other a look.  A look that said “Good, you’re still here”.  It was a mix of relief and guilt.

But still, I was distracted all day favoring mindless tasks over actual work.  I was thankful for the end of the day to come when I could sneak out of the office knowing that I could return in the morning.

Wine was the only option when I got home.  Today was scary.  As I’m sure is the case for many people my age, this was the first time I had ever experienced layoffs.  I anticipated the nervous feelings.  I didn’t anticipate just how awful everything would feel.  How upset everyone in the office would be, including those who had kept their jobs.  I can’t stop thinking about all of these people who were laid off at my office, as well as everyone else who has gone through this.

it’s shaping up to be a good year

When the new year started, I went 10 days without drinking.  I promised myself that I wouldn’t have a drink until my birthday.

Since turning 27, there hasn’t been a day without a drink.

My birthday? Fabulous, thanks for asking.  And thanks for all of your birthday comments.

I spent the day working hard, followed by a night at our usual karaoke bar.  There was lots of beer, not much food, and a fight with the karaoke manager.  I was in rare form for a Wednesday night.   Which would have been fine if I didn’t have an early morning flight to Orange County Thursday morning.

A flight that I missed.

Yes, I slept through my alarm.  I freaked the eff out when I woke up at 7:17am and not 5:15 like I should have.

Like the last time I slept through my alarm before a flight, I was out the door in under 9 minutes.  I chased down a cab and prayed that somehow I would arrive at O’Hare with enough time to check in, get through security, and scurry onto the plane.

Not so.

Had the plane left at 8:45 like I thought, I might have made it.  But apparently it was leaving at 8:25.  Not only did I sleep too late, I didn’t even know what time my flight was leaving.

Mature adult FAIL.

I managed to get on the next flight leaving at 11:45 and only missed one meeting.  But I was definitely somewhat of a hot mess when I arrived in the 80 degree weather and hauled ass to my meetings.

The rest of my time in California was spent 1) in meetings and 2) drinking tequila.  Specifically, tequila on the rocks.

On Saturday AM I had yet another early flight.  6:45 am.  And I was NOT missing it.

Which is why when my clients convinced me to just stay up, keep drinking, and not sleep before my flight, I thought it might not be a bad idea.  If I didn’t sleep, I couldn’t miss my flight, right?

I made it.  I was just still drunk when I boarded.

Half-passed out with my 90s playlist playing on my iPod, I managed to get through the 4 hour flight and not feel too crappy.  And then, once I got home, it was time to rally for birthday celebration #3 with my friends at Schuba’s  (Thunderheist and Hey Champ were fabulous, the dance party upstairs was incredible).

Let’s just say I was more than thrilled with having Monday off this week.

one year closer to 30

Today I am 27.  Actually, in 9 minutes I am officially 27.  Enjoying these last few minutes of 26 working on a crazy work project.  

Getting old sucks.

an interview

Way back when I was clearheaded and not busy (read: on vacation), I signed up for this interview through Nilsa’s blog. I’m finally getting around to this…

First, some rules:

1. If you want to participate, leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” (And your e-mail address, please.)
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Nilsa asked me the following questions:

(1) Name only one blogger you really respect and tell me why.

For some reason, it’s far easier to name someone who doesn’t blog any more.  Maybe it’s because I respect the fact that she stopped when she thought it was the right time and maybe it’s just too hard to choose from the many current bloggers I do respect.  But anyway…Clink is definitely a blogger I truly respect.  Hers was one of the first blogs I read when I got started in blogging way back in 2005.  It’s remarkable that I started reading when she was in the early days of romance with The Boy and now she has been happily married to this same boy for more than half a year.  Time flies.  But back to the respect.  Clink was one of those bloggers who just put it out there.  She blogged anonymously and said it like it was: disordered eating, battling “The Crazy”, wedding planning bliss and nightmares.  She said what she felt needed to be said and supported other bloggers who did the same.  And when snarky commentors tried to bring her down, she didn’t flinch.  She didn’t back down from telling the truth.

(2) If you had to pick a non-urban, U.S. destination in which to vacation for a week, where would you go?

Does Napa count as non-urban?  I’ve never been there, but as far as I know it’s not nearly as urban as Chicago.  So it counts.  You see, I don’t camp.  I don’t go on vacations to rural places.  So when I think non-urban, I think of places without public transportation, dirty alleys, and traffic.  Given that definition, I guess Indianapolis counts as non-urban.

But yeah, Napa.

(3) If you had $500 to spend on housing, food and entertainment for the trip mentioned in (2), how would you spend it?

Wine.  Cheese.  Wine.  Chocolate.  Wine.  More wine to-go.

(4) Tell me about one person with whom you’ve lost touch. If you hope for a reunion, how would you like that reunion to take place?

My freshman year of college I met a friend who would soon become one of my best friends on campus.  Allison and I were tight during that first year, and maintained our friendship even after we wound up in different sororities and lived down the street from each other rather than just down the hall.  I was confident that this was a friend I would keep for years to come, but after we’d been out of college for a year or so, we lost touch.  There were random calls, emails, a visit or two, but it was nothing like the friendship we had in school.  However, we have our 5 year college reunion this summer and I’m excited that I’ll get to see her (and a few other people I’ve lost touch with) for a weekend in June.

(5) In 2008, what was your biggest achievement and your biggest failure/disappointment?

It’s all one and the same.  In 2008, I moved out all on my own.  And I don’t mean just living by myself.  I mean, physically, I moved on my own.  Just me and my dad.  When I look at my couch I feel bursts of pride knowing that I carried that gigantic piece of furniture out of my old place and into my new one.  I also feel very foolish.  Next time, I pay someone to move my crap.

If you’re interested in participating, leave me a comment and I’ll send you some questions.